Transitions in career

Don’t know how far is this title of the blog a misnomer, but before one takes pain of reading it and deciphering the emotions behind writing it, I hereby admit that I’m frustrated, pissed off and under tremendous mental pressure as I pen this down.

I still remember those days when people looked up to me for help, for assignments, for cheating from in exams. I was the only guy who’d help all not only because he wanted to help but also because he only could. I was the merit guy, the uncrowned class representative, the topper, etc Shri. Tamal Ghosal. Didn’t know that topper would topple so easily when real life tested his true merit.

“True merit” is a really deceiving set of words indeed. What is true merit? Is it the art of saying “yes” to every single thing just to appear positive in life and approach? Is it the talent of coaxing or cajoling? Idealistic college chaps with good marks would say “of course not”. But there’s where they are so mistaken. A person’s knowledge, his efficiencies, his capabilities are all mere parameters that would help him clear a job interview and get into a place called “the real exam centre”. The place that recruits people based on excellence in those parameters which it itself teaches to be null and void subsequently in life. In our initial training, we were taught that work life is to learn, unlearn and relearn. I didn’t know the relevance of this line then. It actually means to learn academics in college unlearn it by mere exposure to frustrating and least technical works ever and finally relearn the art of flattery and buttery to get to the ultimate goal, promotion.

It was on a fine June summer when I went to join my company for the first day in Gurgaon. Hardly had I known anything about the future that awaits me there. A warm welcome and grand stay of 15 days did really boost me up morally. It was amazing a experience. I was in a company that surely would treat merit with its due reward. I loved it.

From there, we were dispatched to our respective locations for on the job training of approximately 3 months duration during which we shall be able to avail all facilities and earnings of a full time officer. We were sent to Haldia, a remote place, so called industrial hub of West Bengal. We had a 3 months pleasant stay there amidst other trainee friends. Time did go by like a storm. Then suddenly, on fine evening, our final postings came. Turns out most of the people were transferred away and I was to continue in Haldia only. I was no disappointed then since it was near my hometown Kolkata. So it was more or less good news. But alas! I was wrong.

I was given an office order, henceforth, to report to an Inspection Manager. I shall not disclose his name in my blog due to obvious reasons. He was a tyrant in saintly camouflage of divine spiritualism. A God fearing person, who, I now know, must’ve feared God for his own tyranny and shrewd politics. I was made full time in charge of LPG mounded bullet inspection. Our HOD seemed to have a special something for this mounded bullet project, for reasons yet unconfirmed. He made me find flaws in the construction of the bullets and report them on daily basis. It was sort of disturbing intention towards the contractors. However, I obeyed his instructions and found new checklist points every single day. This was to the utter dislike of my boss who often expressed his irritation by tearing and throwing my reports right on my face. I do not exaggerate. Things went on like this until I was given new offsite piping job under me too. I had to work day and night at site for this and hence didn’t have to face boss a lot. So I was happy and my efficiency rose to a great extent. I used to work from 7:30 hrs to 21:30 hrs every day along with frequent night shifts included. I had spent more than 4 sleepless 24 hours for my work sometimes but never regretted one bit of it since I loved to work hard. Pleased with my work, at least I thought so then, I was added the additional responsibility of the upcoming Hydro cracker and Hydrogen generation projects. I was boosted further and worked even harder. My HOD was apparently very impressed and promised me, after commissioning I was to take charge of the inspection of the running hydrocracker and hydrogen generation plants. That would be high profile indeed. So I was very happy and did put my 150% in job. The hard phase went on for another 6 months almost. I had gained confidence of the top people from production, project, maintenance, process departments as well as those of top managements including ED, GMs. Little did I know of the fact that my boss was such a jealous politician who was so jealous of my growing popularity. He thought I was overshadowing him too. Two days after the plant was commissioned, I was withdrawn from it and sent to fuel oil block for a major revamp shutdown. And that time, Hydrocracker and Hydrogen block was handed over to his favourite good boy, let’s call him Mr. X. And henceforth I was out of it. My boss also succeeded in ear poisoning my HOD against me which was evident from the evaluation he ended up giving me.

Revamp shutdown lasted for another 2 ½ months. Surprisingly I found my enthusiasm back and worked hard here too. It felt good to see, even here, other department people were really looking up to me. I was enjoying the reputation as well as praising from top management. This plant was smoothly started up too. Things were in great shape. Then one day, my boss played his role again. I was withdrawn from fuel oil block as well. Then I was handed over to Lube Oil Block (LOB) and new sulphur recovery block.

LOB is often considered very dirty and low profile zone. But to my favour, in three months from my joining, there were two major parallel M&I shutdowns in LOB. Again it was my chance to show my efficiency. I kept working hard and harder. People from all departments in this block also took special fondness for me seeing my work. I got accustomed to this block as well. Then finally comes the shutdown. My new HOD (former transferred) and boss were both becoming more and more insane and irritating. 3 people already had quit the company out of frustration and dislike for them and one senior person took his transfer by all sorts of pleadings. I was asked to check the alloy composition of each and every pipe components of the entire 2 units within a week along with regular shutdown jobs. The first time I denied a job considering it was impossible. I didn’t know that all I had to do was to say “yes”, and after that even if I didn’t do it nobody would remember. All a person here has to do is say “yes”. I was mistaken and so was thrown to nightshift for 7 days considering I was having a negative attitude towards job. However, here also I didn’t lose my enthusiasm. The systematic way in which I did night shift coordination and prepared daily reports turned out to be exemplary and got my reputation even higher among people around me.

Yes, you must’ve guessed by now. I was thrown out of LOB as well. I was then handed over to thermal power plant of our refinery. I daresay it’s the worst zone of the refinery. People here are all bloody politicians and nobody gives a damn about what work is to be done. Everybody is an arse here. And now, situation is that, I have learnt to say “yes” no matter what. I say “yes” and then do not do the work but I am always undisturbed. I butter people above me and they tend to stay happy. I do not try to get reputation out of the way and so nobody is jealous. But I realized it too late. These things may prevent further downfall but cannot get me back high ever again. As I stand today, I see a few old rusted boilers, fire water pipes and fire extinguishers. The sovereign eagle had his wings chopped off and sabotaged. All he can do now is limp and pick grains scattered on the floor.

Thus, a guy of merit and a topper has toppled in life and just trying to find one hand which can pull him up and say “move on buddy, you can still do it”. But that hand seems to be fictitious since it never comes. Even after my boss’s recent transfer, the situations didn’t improve. Nobody still thought to give me back what I truly deserved. I think, may be, I deserved this only.